I don’t know why you people always think the worst of me. This is not a power grab. Im not trying to go the rogue beaver clutch.

We’ve got our scanner guns people. This is going to be a skilfully managed matter.

Due to an worsening of the COVAG-18 Outbreak around the world we will be beginning Vagina Scans this week.

We will be starting in Europe so please ensure your Vaginas are cleaned as a courtesy.

Results will be published as soon as they are in.